My friend Aaron Mlasko makes drums. Really good drums — the kind of boutique-quality drums that mxpx, Pedro The Lion, Sixteen Horsepower, and lots of other great bands with great drummers play. Aaron is also on tour with Pearl Jam, and apparently just played a couple of songs live on stage with Eddie Vedder and Jeff Ament last night. AND, if that weren’t enough kool kredentials to get him into rock-n-roll heaven, he just got his picture taken with Larry Mullen Jr., drummer for a little garage band called U2 and Aaron’s favorite drummer if I remember correctly. Plus he got engaged. All in one 24 hour period. Not a bad day, all told.

Speaking of friends, Sky went under the knife to get his cancerous thyroid removed. He should be home tomorrow night if all went well. I still haven’t heard.

I swear sometimes I look at Amira’s face, like in this picture or in the previous post, and I can’t bear to look at it for very long. I get this overwhelming feeling — not sure what it is or how to describe it — and I have to look away. I think it has something to do with seeing her light and energy and boundless innocence, and thinking about how I had a part to play in her existence, and thinking of all of the tears and triumphs that lie ahead of her (some of which I will be the cause of), and my mind and heart can’t hold up under the emotion of that.

And it might just be that I pulled an all-nighter after working all day and I’m delirious….

Either way, it seems like such folly that her priceless and beautiful soul would be entrusted to people as flawed as Janece and I, but it would break our hearts if it was any other way. She is a wondrous mystery.

It’s astounding — the emergence of a human being. The first image was taken less than 24 hours after Amira was born, and the second was taken just two days ago. I look at these images side by side and marvel at how the alien proto-human creature on the left has morphed in just 365 short, barely-consciously-registered days into the beautiful expressive creature on the right. It feels like the little girl in the picture on the right is the person I’ve always known ever since the day she was born, so it’s strange to look back at the pics from this last year and see the different stages of her physical and mental development.

And it’s also strange to think that today (well, technically yesterday now — the 15th) Amira is a bona-fide one year old little girl. I remember thinking after she was born how far away that sounded and wondering what she would be and be doing in that far-off distant future world of One Year Old. I remember feeling impatient to be able to hold and talk to and play with that little future girl and not even really being able to fully imagine the experience. And now, here I am with a whole lot of Amira experience under my belt and all kinds of skills and trivia I didn’t know I’d have.

For instance, I know where to squeeze the back of her thighs in the car seat in just the right place to make her giggle. I know that she likes sweet potatoes way better than potatoes and spinach, and she likes Mighty Bites, YoBaby yogurt and chocolate way better than both of them (and pretty much anything else). I know how to distract her during a crying breakdown by rearing my head back and going “GERAWR!” at the ceiling. I know the perfect time to catch her when she’s tired so that she can go to bed without melting down. I know she likes eating out and getting out of the house, just like we do. I know where the softest best-smelling spot is on her neck is for a kiss (just under her cheek). I know that being surprised makes her laugh. I know that she likes putting her feet up Lazyboy-style at dinner. I know that she likes playing with money (yikes!). I know that she likes sleeping on her side/stomach, just like Janece and I do. I know that of our dogs she likes Tova better than Seurat, and of our cats she likes Luther better than Sabu. I know that she likes older boys and fast cars, and it worries me. I know that she likes dancing with me to music in the store.

And I think above all, that’s what amazes me most. Yes, she’s a miracle and she’s precious and all that, but what’s truly astonishing is just how damn specific she is. I don’t know anyone like her and she confounds me with her other-ness. A year into this process, it’s more clear to me than ever that she is my responsibility, but I do not now and never will, own her or have possession of her. I was present at her conception and her birth and nearly every one of these last 365 days, but she is the Creator’s alone. Each day she grows and learns I can feel the seperation between us grow just a little bit more as she finds a little more of the human that she is. It’s an interesting paradox: The more distinct she becomes, the deeper my love and affection for her becomes; the more that she is growing away from her need of us, the sweeter it is when she shares her affection for us. Maybe that’s how God feels about us…

Proverbs says “Train up a child in the way it should go, and when it is old it will not depart from it.” The connotation of “way” is that of a bow and arrow — the natural bend of the bow speeds the arrow speedily and true towards it’s target. So, apparently in the same way, a child finds it’s true target when it’s natural passions and desire are discovered, flexed and released with skill and purpose. Already I can feel Amira’s flex and focus and power starting to take shape, and I’m excited to see where her trajectory will take her.

Happy Birthday, Amira. I pray that God trains and graces Janece and I with the skills to be good archers with you — steady and patient and confident and bold. Thank you for being in our lives — I can’t imagine life without you. And I’m already wondering what I’m going to be writing about the two-year-old you…

I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while and mentioned it to my coach, Dana. She liked the concept of it that I sketched out and so I wrote it to send to her with the intention of it going out in her weekly e-zine. It’s a bit more formal writing-wise than I would probably do in a regular blog post, but here it is to read at your leisure.

(Read the rest of this entry…)

Sky’s situation has taken yet another “theatrical” (his word) turn for the worse. Unbelievable. I would think it’s pretty rare that people experience this much Job-like collision of unfortunate circumstance all at once. Usually it trickles in by dribs and drabs, but someone turned the Faucet Of Woe on full-blast for him.

I read once that the way that organic systems evolve to be more capable and hardy is a cycle that roughly looks like this: stasis => breakdown and chaos => accelerated new level of capability. So, the breakdown and chaos of the system is essential for the system to adapt and grow. If that’s the case, then Sky is just about ready to “evolve” big-time on a personal and spiritual level. Join me in praying for he and his wife’s courage and faith and will to be adequate to the task ahead.

And, if you’re reading this and you have a need for a multi-talented, creative, skilled musician/strategist/multimedia person, by all means contact Sky immediately. He’s got a lot to bring to your table.

(BTW, if you’re expecting pics, I just don’t have the time to do it right now. But luckily Janece does. Check them out here.)